I turned on the opening ceremony for five minutes and heard:
“Denmark is the most competitive non-Asian nation in badminton. That shuttlecock moves at daunting speeds.”
“President Bongo promised any Gabonian who won a gold medal a dreamhouse and untold riches.”
…and Germany is dressed like straight up babies. Infants. This is really odd. The announcers are making a bunch of nonchalant references to genocide. I need to shut it off and only watch US Women Soccer, Swimming, Diving, 100m, and Gymnastics.
US Women Soccer is awesome. Abby Wambach doesn’t do things for me, but her eyes SLAY (she bears a striking resemblance to Jon Hamm) and she is fucking jacked. I liked her spread in the body issue of ESPN this month. It was kind of a bummer to watch their opening game v France at the same empty soccer bar that was PACKED for all of Euro2012, but the friends I watch with suspect it might get nearly as full for the more important games. I remain doubtful, but I like empty bars better than full ones so whatever. People love America and since the men’s side sucks to the point where they can’t even qualify, maybe people will show up for the US women.